I Will Survive!


At first I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
Without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights
Thinking how you did me wrong
And I grew strong
And I learned how to get along…

After a tumultuous 40 year relationship – plaguing me with a myriad of annoyances – I’m finding it challenging to cut the cord with my anticholinergic, even now that my brain bionics are waiting in the wings. Flexing its muscles, my anticholinergic is determined to stick around for Act II. However, I’m equally determined to boot him off the show.

Hardly known for my patience, I’ve exhibited unprecedented forbearance in the painstakingly slow process of Walking The Plank, even, shockingly, proactively taking a detour from the weekly weaning schedule when my walking grew funky. It’s all a delicate balancing act of amping up the power to compensate for lost “juice.”

With grad school awaiting me in the fall, I’d love to restore my short-term memory and normalize my urination so I’m not constantly rushing out of class for an impromptu rendezvous with the ladies room. The dream of being pill free shines strong, fortifying me with resolve to go the distance, no matter how long it takes. So Mr. Anticholinergic, as Gloria Gaynor sang so well:

Go on now go, walk out the door
Just turn around now
‘Cause you’re not welcome anymore
Weren’t you the one who tried to break me with goodbye?
Did you think I’d crumble?
Did you think I’d lay down and die?
Oh no not I, I will survive…

10 responses to “I Will Survive!

  1. Thank you for sharing your posts.
    You write so well!!
    Keep up the fight..
    keep up the humour…
    Here’s to the very best of health and blessings to you /Dan

    Daniel Sacke

  2. You never cease to amaze…bravo…xoxo…


    • Jan, so lovely to hear from you and thank you for your comment. The song “I Will Survive” brings back so many memories for me and was so perfect for this post. Sending you my best. -Pamela-

  3. v. oliver harmon md

    your positive progress is a reflection of your determination and grit, all the best to you, oliver !

  4. Saw your e-mail today just after I was thinking I would like to get off Artane with all these side effects. In addition to the ones you mention, I have a burning tongue and bumps in my mouth. Blech!! Sorry if I somehow missed this but did you undergo DBS? Thanks for lighting the way with levity!

    • Teresa, Yes, I had DBS surgery 9 months ago, which has enabled me to decrease my meds. Actually, today is the first day I’m off Artane completely after 40 years! It is truly hard to believe and I am knocking on wood! What is your type of Dystonia? Best, Pam

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