My Answering Machine Message

14922714_sI can’t think of a more distasteful task than listening to my answering machine message. There’s the shock of an alien voice even I strain to understand, followed by the dawning realization this is how I sound to friend and foe. Thankfully, this chore is only required when I tape a new message or forget my phone number and conduct reconnaissance in the form of a confirmatory call.

Recording my message is a disheartening comedy of errors. Accessing my inner thesaurus, I play out a maddening search for “perfect” words that don’t exist in a limited field of vocalization, discarding phrases faster that you can enunciate Jiminy Cricket…all the while stubbing my finger on the re-record button as I keep giving it “one more try.” By the time my word elimination game concludes, my message is reduced to the barest of bones and I can only hope callers will exercise their logical reasoning.

However, I staunchly refrain from resorting to a pre-recording, refusing to tender my surrender to the “luxury” of digitized speech!

11 responses to “My Answering Machine Message

  1. Thanks for writing this Pamela, I always enjoy your writing, this story is both interesting and more illuminating. Thanks again

    • Hey Murray, Always a pleasure to see that you’re reading and receive a comment from you. I well know we all have our frustrations, perhaps my greatest one is my speech. Writing about these struggles certainly is helpful and I can only hope helps others. Wishing you a very Happy Holidays. -Pam-

  2. Pamela, you will get to dictate great news with a good tone and good words.
    You create everything.

  3. I like texting…. 🙂

    • Hello Petra, Lovely to hear from you. I must say I’m partial to email myself. I didn’t even start using text until the last year or so but I’m so grateful for the conveniences of technology. Best to you. -Pamela-

  4. Have you tried Botox for your voice? I have Botox injections in my throat and it works wonders! I went from a whisper to having an almost fully functional voice! I say almost fully funstional only because I can’t hit certain notes… 🙂

    • Jessica, Thank you so much for posting. I have articulation issues caused by generalized Dystonia – think of it as a slow moving tongue – so unfortunately Botox would not be an option. But so nice to hear that the treatments are helpful for you. I have a good friend with Spasmodic Dysphonia and he also receives benefit from Botox injections. Wishing you happiness this Holiday Season. -Pamela-

  5. I have the same problems. I hate leaving voice messages. I love Email. Keep the good work up.

    • Hi Don, Always so nice to hear from you. All I can say is thank goodness for text and email! I well remember life before the technology revolution. I hope you are enjoying the weekend. -Pam-

  6. Pingback: She Spoke Into Her Answering Machine, What Played Back Shook Her -, LLC

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