I don’t buy printer ink without carefully investigating my options. You can only imagine how I approach a decision like bilateral brain surgery. Not a grain of sand is left unturned in my lab of microscopic dissection. Popping a new pill is one matter. A potential starring role in a two act surgical drama involving a drill, a brilliant neurosurgeon and two electrodes about to take a slip into my brain for an ongoing adventure of electrical proportion is quite another story!
In a process that even the medical community doesn’t fully understand, the electrodes – suspended in the brain – send out a “help is on the way” signal that somehow overrides or interrupts the mixed-up messages confusing the muscles. Equally mysterious, speech generally receives no benefit, a giant “X” on my list of pros and cons. Each electrode attaches, via surgically implanted wires, to a battery-powered stimulator lurking in the chest and controlling the pulses emitted. Completing this pretty picture is a handy remote that turns you on and off, changes the channel and controls the volume like you’re a TV set. Obtaining programming nirvana can take months, even a year.
The upside to all this nerve-racking hoopla – in a nutshell, Deep Brain Stimulation – is the “am I dreaming” possibility of gliding into my fifth decade after forty years of laborious gait…but no promises. Only requires a ticket to a live show (yes, I’m awake) where I receive a feature role. They even throw in a cutting edge haircut dispensing with the need for shampoo. Would certainly beat a surprise party for impact but this Dystonia damsel hasn’t reached her surgical breaking point. Perhaps if my walking pursues a downward slope from reducing my dalliance with Mr. Art, I’ll undergo a change of heart.
Post Script: DBS is a story with more flip sides than a stack of flapjacks. This procedure can change lives, uplifting individuals from wheelchairs to stilettos, merciless spasms to merciful serenity, plodding gait to measured marathons. Check out my friend, Pat Brogan’s blog, Battery Powered Person, for a glimpse into the transformative potential of DBS.