Tuesday I hosted a WEGO Health Chat addressing Sexuality & Disability but the truth is that sexuality can’t be generalized to such a heterogeneous group. The disabled and chronically ill constitute a complex diversity of humanity. We’re male, female, gay, straight, young, old and in between. When it comes to the passion department, urges and desires are equal opportunity employers. Further, life’s challenges fail to discriminate: anyone can have a trying day that inhibits the libido from coming out to play.
As for my physical realities, they’re part of the package, as much for me as everyone else, asserting enticing attractions as well as inconvenient complications. Engaging in heated flirtation while battling a slow-moving tongue may induce a feeling of “mum’s the word,” but a searing gaze recharges my mojo. Anyway, isn’t life all about point of view? Walking is my attempt to exercise control over a brigade of chronically misbehaving muscles that refuse to execute their assignments. Sauntering is embracing a saucy step with a womanly swagger – taking my derrière for an alluring ride. My Dystonia is actually an unwitting ally, initiating a turn of hip that lifts my behind in a fetching upswing!
We all face an uphill battle when we’re constantly besieged with the impossibly idealized body so all I can say is pack confidence. Owning your body with all its bumps and curves goes a long way towards owning that stride! The bigger picture is that we don’t simply access sexuality from our physical selves and a perfect human form isn’t a prerequisite. Glorified images of feminine beauty and masculine virility may set us aflutter, but they fall short of communicating the resounding meatiness of our existence. And for the record, real men…and women sit in wheelchairs. Body parts become incapacitated, not our thoughts and imaginations. The key to passion and sensuality rests within our hearts and minds.
I take my cues from the feelings a man stirs inside me and the ideas I locate within myself. For me, the core of being a woman is practicing compassion, expressing affection, finding my inner truths, and connecting with my deepest desires…which I’ll gladly set on the table with the right guy!
For further thoughts on the topic, visit WEGO Health’s recap of my Twitter Chat at http://blog.wegohealth.com/2013/02/13/hachat-recap-sexuality-disability/.
Don’t miss this article from The Guardian: http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2013/feb/12/disabled-people-valid-sexual-partners.