“May the Force be with you” sums things up pretty well except for one slight detail: this ever-present “Force” usually goes against me. I lead the Jedi Knights in an epic battle waged for control of my Universe, the Dystonic Sith summoning the “dark side” to seize power, gaining strength by preying upon my negative emotions.
Ironic inconsistency is expected. When I visit my neurologist, my brain somehow instructs my muscles to behave. I pace the hallways with an entourage of physicians, silently willing my muscles to act up and take responsibility for their persistent shenanigans. On dates – talk about nerves – I tip to the other end of the spectrum. Maybe next time, I should invite my neurologist to join us for drinks. Murphy’s Law meet my Dystonia!
The unpredictable nature of Dystonia is a constant thorn in my side. Stairs pose an eternal question mark. Walking confronts me with a never-ending surprise party. One minute I’m strolling prettily, nary a care. Then I remember my legs – shazam, we have movement. Occasionally, my foot abruptly decides to make an illegal U-turn, leaving me stranded on a street corner waiting for my yin to find its yang. If only I could send my limbs to Driver’s Ed to reduce the Dystonia points on my license!