Who’s In Control?

A neuroscientist may tell you the problem rests with a far off galaxy in my brain named Basal Ganglia, denying me control of all my movements. I prefer to address this question on the metaphysical realm. After all, I’m a self-acknowledged control freak. I like to think I’m running the show but my body has a different opinion, flexing its muscles with every opportunity to put me in my place. Modifications in order, I try a team approach and transform into a coach hurling encouragements to get the best efforts out of my players – an excellent motivational tactic that unfortunately fails in its execution.

Dystonia is a never-ending refusal to surrender to body parts that won’t follow my “suggestions.” I find it absolutely bizarre how my left foot appears convinced of the “rightness” of its motion, like a stubborn 5-year-old insisting on walking a strange Indian war dance. How about mind over matter? Hmmm. I attempt thinking my foot into a smooth gliding step. No dice.

6 responses to “Who’s In Control?

  1. VERY well-said Dystonia Muse! Keep up the great work!

  2. Very clever. A narrative better than any scientific description of dystonia I ever read. Nicely done.

  3. my metaphysical friends hint that it is something i can control – i really not know, i bamboozled

    • Look at it this way. Dystonia tends to get worse when someone is nervous or under stress. To the extent that we can control our emotional states and our reactions, we can “control” our dystonia to a small extent. And we 100% can control how we think about ourselves and our lives with dystonia!

  4. 🙂
    You make me think of the time I was on the stairs, leaning against the wall, slowly making it up, and thought, “what if I just act like normal and try to just walk up the stairs like I used to…” and took a deep breath, stood up tall…and fell over, remaining collapsed on the stairs for the next 15 minutes…. 🙂

    Mind-over dystonia has a 100% failure rate for me…and that’s not the only attempt.
    But I have found that sometimes if I’m really angry or excited, for a little while I will do better on adrenaline. Frequently followed by a crash because I used up all of my batteries on the moment.

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